You don't want my shoes

Late last night the SO and I were talking about our day. Thankfully, mine was rather uneventful, as his was fairly high-stress.

In the recap he was discussing a conversation with a man on his team that was so intense it got me worked up just listening to it.

Here's a little background for you: apparently in his prime this man used to be an executive of sorts, making "six figs" as he puts it, but given the economic decline and the near disappearance of his line of work, he's stuck working with the 20-somethings, doing work that he believes to be beneath him.

Editor's note: I don't understand half of what the SO does for a living, it's so complex. But of course, this is coming from a communications professional, what do I know?

So while arguing with the SO about leaving early, regardless if his work is done, Mr. Executive says, "try walking a day in my shoes."

Now, this brings me to my point.

No one, no matter what they've been through in their life, has the right to say that to someone else. Ever.

You just don't know what the person you're saying that to has gone through. You have no idea.

Giving this guy the benefit of the doubt, I'm sure he looks at the SO and thinks to himself that a 20-something kid has no idea what it's like to work his way to the top only to be smacked back down by elements that are out of your control, all the while trying to support a family - and so on and so forth.

But the fact of the matter is, he really doesn't know. Just because someone looks like they've lived a charmed life, it doesn't mean they have - nor does it mean they don't understand stress.

Oh, did I mention that he said "you don't know what stress is." Yeah, right. That too.

And truthfully, what this guy was complaining about is nothing in the grand scheme of the kinds of stress life can bring. Really, anyone who's ever endured true stress and life hardships, only to be left standing tall on the other side, doesn't go around rubbing it in others faces. They just don't.

So take a lesson from this douche - don't be one - and never assume you know how someone else leads their life. They could be two, or twenty, or ninety, you just don't know what kind of life experiences they've live through. No one has the right to assume their life is more difficult than others around them.

Seriously, you just don't know.

Cheers!

-A

I'm a quitter

I've been thinking a lot lately about my running behavior, or lack there of, and have realized just how unsuccessful I've been in reaching my goals these last, ahem, five years.

During this time I've signed up for or verbally committed to run three half marathons and countless 5 and 10Ks that were never completed.

Training FAIL.

It was almost five years ago now that I endured my first running injury that put me in a back brace for almost six months.

Hyperextension WIN...?

Anywhosits, after much deliberation, I think I've come to a decision with my distance running. 

You ready for this?

I'm officially giving up competitive running. (!!!!!!)

Here's how I see it. Right now I only feel inclined to run so that I don't embarrass myself at the next race. And when my training doesn't go as planned I back out of the race. This then causes me to feel bad about myself and stay at home to eat Cool Ranch Doritos on the couch instead of going for a leisurely run. 

It's all a downward spiral from there.

When I first started running I used to truly enjoy the sport - running for me, for the enjoyment, for the high. Once I started racing, it became a whole different ball game, and my competitive spirit got the best of me. I ran for the race, to win. It was no longer about the intrinsic value.

Recently I've found that when there isn't a looming race to prepare for I enjoy the act of running much more. I can mix things up, do sprints when I'm inclined, walk for a little to enjoy the scenery without feeling guilty about it.

Not to mention that the pressure to hit the treadmill the minute I enter the gym significantly declines.

Let's not forget about the other factor of races - the money. Sure, it's only $25 to enter a race, but that's also the cost of a skydive. And we're all acutely aware of what I'd rather be doing.

Long story short, I need to run for me, not just to compete with the other runners around me.

I'm much happier when I participate in a variety of activities to keep me healthy, and honestly, when I'm training and running 6 days a week I'm not at my peak health. I have X-rays of two fractured feet to prove that.

So for now, I'm going to focus on enjoying my workouts, running or otherwise, and gain some endurance back the fun way. And who knows, maybe one day you'll see me at the starting line again, complete with Asics and racing number.

But until then, I'll see you in spinning class.

What's your workout of choice these days?

Cheers!

-A

Stand on your head, biotch

If you haven't noticed, I've been a sad, whiny, pathetic excuse for a human being lately. 

Haha, human.

Sorry, had to be there.

What pisses me off most about this is that I have almost nothing to complain about. I mean, c'mon, who in their right mind bitches about having to balance fun stuff like skydiving and running outside in this beautiful weather and spending time with an amazing boyfriend like the SO.

Really, I don't suck so much at life as I suck at appreciating it. 

I've spent so much of my life being a perfectionist and control freak (which comes in handy at the office and in free fall, but is otherwise rather annoying) that I have yet to learn how to enjoy the moments that don't go quite as planned.

Honestly, when I first moved to the Cleve, I was much more laid back than this. My weekends were spent out drinking with whatever friends would have me and happily working 60+ hours a week because, well, I didn't have anything else to do.

But, to steal a line from the SO's lovely mom: my life wasn't that great back then.

There's gotta be a happy medium though, right? I mean, there is no reason why I can't strive for perfection while also being comfortable with where things are now.

I just have to figure out how to do that so I can stop being such a freakin' Debbie Downer and get back to being cynical about things that really matter - like the rude cashier who looked at me funny this morning at Starbucks. Bastard.

Cheers!

-A

It's already a quarter over!

My life, that is.

This week I turn 25. Ugh, just looking at that statement makes me throw up in my mouth a little. What the hell happened to "the best years of my life" or whatever?

Rather than dwell on the fact that I'm now an adult - with the ability to rent a car at standard pricing - I've decided to make some changes and set some goals for myself along the way.

Sort of like New Year's Resolutions for the 25th year of life, if you will. I'll be damned if the quarter-life crisis is going to overtake this girl. *insert double thumb point in my direction*

It's time now to take a look at the direction I'm heading and make the necessary alterations. After all, I really only have 5 more good years in me before things stop functioning properly.

Hello adult diapers!

I kid, I kid.

But by the time 30 hits I'd like to have accomplished a lot and be well on my way to having the life I've always dreamed.

Like, for instance, focusing my attention on the people in my life. I've spent the majority of the last three years focusing solely on my career - and the four years before that on getting a career, and the four years before that getting into school so I can get a career...you get the point.

Now, with the addition of the SO and his wonderful family, planned trips with the old college crew, my brother getting married to the love of his life, and my beyond supportive friends and family who have seen me through moves across the country and back - and are still in my life, mind you - it's about time I threw a little of my positive energy in their direction.

The older I get the more I realize just how important the people who support you are to your success. It's true that I'm not going to be lying on my death bed wishing I spent more time working. Thank heaven for my employers encouragement of a work/life balance.

Here are a few other goals I intend to accomplish in my 25th year of life:

1) Run a 1/2 marathon. I've been saying it for the last few years and have been hindered by injuries every time. I think I've got the training figured out - now it's time to follow through. Chicago, here I come!

2) Get my skydiving license. I'm going for my A by the end of the summer. Then I can jump anywhere I travel. Maybe my B license by 26?

(I dream of one day being on a team like this)

3) Take on a new challenge at work. I need something to get me out of my comfort zone, that's where I grow the most. I will find this project.

4) Get my finances in order. Lately, I've been a whole lot of talk and not a lot of action on this front. And with my rather expensive hobbies saving hasn't been easy. To be out of debt and living comfortably by 26 is the goal.

5) Read a book every month. This might be a long shot, but I really want to get back into my reading habit. 

6) Focus on my health. This is the time to get and stay healthy. It won't always be this easy.

 

I'm sure there are more, but that's a good start, and I've got a couple more days to lay out all these goals.

So tell me dear readers, what are some of your goals for the next year?

Cheers!

-A

In need of a change

There are two types of people in this world:

1) The ones who fear change and,

2) The ones who embrace it.

I fall into the latter category. Not only do I embrace change, I thrive on it. 

In fact, without frequent change I get bored and uninspired and restless. So for me, change is more of a need than anything else.

Yep, change is an addiction.

Is there some sort of support group for this? Probably not, eh? With people like me we'd get bored with those supporters way too quickly.

Anywhosits.....I've found that with regular change, I tend to operate at optimal performance levels.

Why this is has remained a mystery to me, but the more frequent change occurs the happier I am. And the larger the change, the more productive I am.

Stupid, right? Maybe it's this constant need to adapt new technologies that my generation feels that's driving my desire for something different every day. It's a good thing I'm in marketing - we're always up to something new every day.

Even still, it's not enough. I've found that I seek out opportunities for change - from small things like new workouts that are bound to encourage soreness the next day to more substantial changes like moving across the country. 

For the last two years I've lived and worked within a 5 mile radius. Just reading over that sentence makes me shudder a little. You might as well have told me I've been locked in a padded room - it's essentially the same for this adventure-driven girl.

I've settled for minor changes like becoming a brunette and slowly blonding (yes, that's a word, I just made it one) back again, picking up new hobbies like rock cli

mbing and skydiving, eating at new restaurants every chance I get (lucky for me the Cleve is filled with awesome restaurants), and even dabbling in the cooking arena myself.

But lately I've been in a rut and I'm starting to feel the change itch coming on.

This is where you come in. I need HELP. Desperately. 

How do I fulfill this need for change without doing something drastic?

So tell me dear readers, how do you satisfy your need for change? What have you done differently that you've enjoyed?

Cheers!

-A

p.s. As promised - here's my value add for the day. Inspired by one of my favorites, Anna's daily read, Pearls Before Swine.

Feisty morning

That's the most accurate way to describe me this morning.

Feisty.

And NOT in the good way.

I blame the weekend. It was one of the best I've had in quite some time. So of course, waking up this morning knowing it was over and I had to return to the daily grind put me in an immediate funk.

Now, I'm not much for blogging about my weekend adventures, but this is one worth telling...

Or at least, I think so.

........................................

Last week on a whim - which is pretty standard for her - my dear friend Christina decided to make the two hour drive up to spend the weekend.

In our oh-so spontaneous fashion we decided to go sky diving on Saturday. Unfortunately, the winds did not cooperate at 20+ mph so we got pushed back to Sunday. Don't worry though, we did get to kiss the sky, after all.

But back to Saturday...

Once she got into town and we had an exciting reunion - two months is too long, we need more regular contact, lady - and then our stomachs got the best of us. Seeing as it was a beautiful day outside we headed to a local patio to post up and stuff our faces.

Oh, and we proceeded to burn our shoulders in the mid-day sun as well, but if that's the worst of it, I can deal.

After lunch we discussed the plans for dinner - being the food-obsessed runners that we are - and came up with a great plan to cook out at my place. Since I don't have a grill it was more like cooking in than out but it was tasty, regardless.

Our idea required fresh produce - tacos and Corona anyone? - so we popped over to the West Side Market for a bit.



Now, I have a confession. I've lived here for two years and this was my first trip to the market.

I know - I should be shunned for that.

But now, I'm addicted. This is definitely one of Cleveland's gems. I'll never buy my produce from anywhere else. It makes Giant Eagle look like the Bloomingdale's of the grocery world. Way too expensive for my taste.

And the vendors there are great. Since we were stocking up on veggies for my famous guacamole - okay, so not quite yet, but one day it will be...maybe this is where Bobby shows up for a Throw Down eh?

Sorry, off track.

So we were perusing the market and needed two fresh jalapenos, which the vendor gave us for free, and one lime, which we also got for free.

How nice are these vendors?

Or was it because we were two 20-something chicks in tank tops on a hot day that worked in our favor? We may never know for sure.

Getting a group around wasn't too difficult - free food and beer on a beautiful day pretty much sells itself. Needless to say, the guacamole and the taco party went over well.

(Pictures of the lovely spread to come.)

Then my friends and I headed to the rooftop deck to soak up a little more of the beautiful weather - once the wind died down that is. Though conversation was cut short again as us girls decided, once again, that our stomachs were more important and we headed to East Coast Custard to finish off the night.

Yep, you heard me right. We finished the night with ice cream. Where most other 20-somethings were doing shots of Patron and grinding on each other in the club basements on West 6th street, we were yawning, finishing our custard and preparing to put on our comfy pants and head to bed.

LAME.

But I have to admit, it was pretty awesome. After all, we did have to get up a 7:30 the next morning to jump out of an airplane.



I'll spare you the details, you get the idea of what happened. We did an hour or so worth of training, watched our instructor pack the 'chute and off we went.

Though it's worth noting that we both pulled our own 'chutes, learned a series of hand signals, and passed the progression course. We're cleared to solo jump within the next 30 days! With our log books growing, we're now officially sports parachutists.

Highly recommend Cleveland Parachute if you're from NE Ohio and in the market for a great jumping experience.

And now....well, I'm sad that my lady friend has left me, and a little feisty now that I have to go back to real life.

I learned this weekend that happiness [for me at least] lies in spending time with good friends and jumping out of perfectly good airplanes.

How was your weekend?

Cheers!

-A

Birthdays...a thing of the past?

(Commence the celebration of the unbirthday!)

I love birthdays.

It's true. Just like when I was a kid I still look forward to this day as it approaches every year.

Only now I don't bring cupcakes to share with the class - though I bet my co-workers wouldn't mind so much if I did. But no singing please, that I can do without.

I also despise the happy birthday songs they sing to you in restaurants. Sure you get free dessert, but it's so not worth the public attention and humiliation. And usually the songs are way lame. Trust me, I used to work at Chi Chi's, which had the lamest birthday song ever. But the fried ice cream was pretty damn good.

Okay, so not the point.

Blast, I'm way off topic now.

Oh, birthdays, right.

I like birthdays. And not just my own. In fact, I think I might like to celebrate other people's birthdays even more than my own. It's the gift giving that gets me...I love giving people presents.

Now, I didn't say I loved buying them, but it's fun to give someone something they wanted, needed, or just something pretty that they like. It's all about putting a smile on someones face.

What can I say, I'm a giver.

The best part about a birthday is that it's the one time a year where you get to celebrate the individual. One day where it's all about them.

Most other celebrations are about family, friends, religion, a couple. But birthdays are just about you.

But the older I get the more I'm realizing how other people don't really feel the same way I do about this annual event.

If they did, I wouldn't be traveling for work for the third consecutive year on this oh-so-special day.

Three years in a row. Are you freaking kidding me?

Actually, I wasn't all that surprised. When I found out about it, I laughed right out loud - in the middle of a meeting - with no good explanation per usual.

Maybe this is the universe trying to tell me to give up on the birthday. After all, what's so special about them now? We're just getting closer to things not working the way they should, right?

I guess after 21 it doesn't really matter anyhow. The only perk to 25 is the onset of the quarter-life crisis and the nervous breakdown that's bound to ensue.

Oh and my car insurance is going down. But I got that call in March so how much of a birthday surprise is that, really?

Well, the universe can suck it, because now I'm just going to spoil the crap out of my friends and family for their birthdays since I can't even enjoy my own.

Take that, bastard!

-A

Give it a rest, Debbie

So I know y'all were expecting another vacation recap post today, but I thought instead, I'd break the mold a bit and discuss something that's been bugging me recently.

Surprise, the cynical side rears it's ugly head again.

But this time, it's for good reason.

It seems, as of late, there's been an epidemic going around. It's called Debbie Downer syndrome.

In recent interactions with friends and acquaintances, there's been this low cloud of negativity hanging around. And even when people seem happy on the surface, the undertones of conversation is often sullen.

Sure, you're probably thinking that I've got good reason to be chipper after a seven day tropical vacation. But I'm talking about emotion that runs a little deeper than that.

After all, I too am stuck in this snowy April weather like everyone else, and sure, my Spartans endured a tough loss to UNC last night in the NCAA national championship game, but you can't let that stuff rock you to the core.

Now don't get me wrong, there are some things in life, the unavoidable tragedies and unfortunate circumstances where grieving is not only acceptable and expected, but it's needed. These are not the situations to which I am referring.

It's these perpetual Debbie Downer types that really start to get to me after a while. What's worse, is the things they complain about. Ordinary, mundane issues of daily life. And often, a solution is well within their reach.

It's starting to seem like people are losing control over their own happiness.

Is it that we don't realize just how much power we have over our outlook on life?

Maybe it's that I was lucky enough to grow up in a family that encouraged my growth into a strong person. One that showed me how to take the reigns of my life, so to speak, and keep a level head.

Of course, we're all aware of my cynical nature - it's a defining characteristic, like it or not.

And as someone who often allows the actions of others to impact my own happiness, I've got some nerve preaching this concept to others (see what I did there...admitting it makes it okay). But if we all took a step back and looked at what we've got, you might be surprised at just how happy you really are right now.

And if you're still not, then do something about it and quit bringing the rest of us down with you. Jerk!

Follow a dream, explore a new passion, help someone. All of these things have the potential to bring you outside of yourself. Be a part of something bigger than just you.

And who knows, you might accomplish something you never dreamed was possible - like waking up and smiling.

Cheers!

-A

Personal growth

First off, can I just say how crazy it is that it's March already. Wow!

And I may very well be the most excited girl in the country

as March Madness is just around the corner. My Spartans have probably secured a 2 seed in the big dance and at least a share of the Big Ten title. Woot!

Okay, now that that's out of my system...

These last few weeks have definitely taken me through some personal growth changes that I never expected. Today I feel like things are finally slowing down, or at least I see a nice little flicker at the end of the change tunnel, and I feel pretty good about how I'm coming out.

Alive.

Okay, so it's not quite that bad. In fact, I feel pretty good.

There have been some big, tough decisions to make that I never anticipated. But, in doing so I've come to realize what's most important to me at this point in my life -- where my efforts need to be focused.

And I gotta say, it feels damn good to finally have figured that out. Unfortunate that it took some stress, anxiety, and even a few tears along the way but I managed. And now, I move forward in a direction that feels nothing less than positive.

On an even brighter note, I have today off. Yay for 3-day weekends. Oh, AND it's sunny today. Yes, in Cleveland. I know, right?

Sure, I've got lots of chores and catching up to do, but at least I'm not at the office like all you poor bastards right now. Oh, did I say that out loud? I mean, I can't wait till I get back to the office, too. But for today, I'm enjoying a little me time.

Cheers!

-A

Recent Regret

Typically, I'm not one for dwelling on events of the past and how things could have been different. Life's too short for all that regret stuff.

But on occasion, I take a step back and look at my behavior and begin to regret my actions - and, believe it or not, my words.

This past week was extremely stressful at the office. I worked more 'overtime' hours than I have in a long time. Now, as y'all are probably acutely aware, I love my job. And I tend to praise myself for my career path even more when there's so much work to be done that I lose all track of time through my packed schedule.

However, this week, when my crazy schedule matched the SO's, I'd had enough. And as you probably guessed, I took it out on him in mega-bitch fashion.

Girlfriend FAIL.

Oh, but it gets better.

In my typical cynical fashion, I wrote this post, which, in turn, put the SO off to doing the things he had planned for this weekend.

NOT my intention. And I feel terrible about it.

The last thing I wanted was to inhibit him from doing anything he actually wanted to do.

But of course, once again, I acted without actually thinking about the implications. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

So although I've already apologized for these things profusely in person, it seems only right to dedicate a post to the words and actions from the past week I whole-heartedly regret. What can I say, I feel terrible about this inexcusable behavior.

And now, I'm sitting here thinking that I really should have taken the opportunity to observe this President's Day holiday with a little extra QT - and sleeping in, of course.

Oh well.

I suck!

-A

p.s. I don't want to forget about the positive side of the situation. This weekend was fabulous! Had a productive Saturday where I got caught up on my chores and attended two yoga classes, my parents came into town for a quick visit, and most importantly, I got to spend some much needed, uninterrupted time with the SO. I'm one f-ing lucky girl!

Learning about myself

So far, 2009 has taught me a lot about myself. Between the ups and downs of stress, training, work, and attempting to keep resolutions this past month has really opened my eyes to some of my little quirks.

Here's what I've learned so far:

I'm a much more patient and understanding person than I give myself credit for. Though when it comes to laziness or incompetence, I'm still pretty intolerant.

I love cooking. If I could afford it, I'd move to New York City and go to culinary school.

Even the smallest compliment acts as a great ego boost for my day.

As I get older, my procrastination gets worse. Though, in my defense, it's not because I don't want to do these things - it's more about not having enough hours in the day and having to choose.

I need frequent change in life. If it's not something drastic like moving across the country (again), you'll probably find me at the salon changing my hair color (again), or traveling, or testing out a new workout class. I get bored easily.

Yoga keeps me sane.

Hard as I try, I don't drink enough water. With all the coffee and tea to fuel my workday it's no easy task to replenish. And I hate buying water at the store - I hate lugging them in and it's just so environmentally unfriendly it hurts.

I still have no idea how to balance my career with my personal life - and still attempt to do it all.

When I'm down, the best thing is a good quote from The Office:

"If it were an iPod, it would be a shuffle." ~Pam

"Oh well. If they're not together now, then they probably never will be. I thought they would be good together like PB & J. Pam Beasley and Jim. What a waste. What a waste." ~Kevin

"I'm not insightful enough to be a movie critic. Maybe I could be a food critic. These muffins taste bad. Or an art critic. That painting is bad." ~Andy

"Yeah. Right. I filled him full of butter and sugar for fifty years and forced him not to exercise. Now take a lesson from Stanley and jog on up here and sign this, okay?" ~Dwight

"Jim, you're six eleven and you weigh ninety pounds, Gumby has a better body than you. Boom roasted. Dwight, you're a kiss-ass. Boom roasted. Meredith, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. Boom roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke or a dumb joke boom roasted. Stanley! You crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom roasted. Oscar, you're gay! Andy Cornell called, they think you suck! And you're gayer than Oscar. Boom roasted!" ~Michael

"Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make." ~Michael

"One day Michael came in, complaining about a speed bump, on the highway... I wonder who he ran over then." ~Jim

Yeah, I could do that all day.

What have you learned about your self so far this year?

Cheers!

-A

Speaking my mind

This is something I really need to improve upon, speaking my mind.

I know what y’all are thinking, that seems pretty inaccurate given how I typically spout off at the mouth everyday. But that’s not really what I mean.

The one thing I’ve never really been good at is confronting a conflict.

Sure, I can do this when it comes to client work, but not so much in my personal life.

Between toxic friends, an abusive roommate, bad relationships, and the occasional office spat, I’ve taken a lot of abuse these past couple years. And honestly, I let it happen.

I’m plenty prepared to bitch and moan about these issues but I’m no good at actually standing up for myself.

What gives?

Why can’t I just sit down and have an adult conversation with someone when I feel I’ve been treated unfairly? Why do I continue to let myself get walked on?

I sorta feel like part of it is that when I’ve told friends how I felt before (sure, maybe not in the most tactful way at times) it’s blown up in my face causing huge fights and even ending friendships.

Seriously, I lost a friend of 20 years because I told her she was being selfish – when she legitimately was I might add.

And whenever I told a certain ex-boyfriend about concerns I had he always made me feel guilty – as if all our problems were my fault.

I need to realize that not everyone is like that, but I guess these bad experiences have really made me think twice about voicing my concerns. Or, at least, that’s what I tell myself.

Any advice for being less of a doormat?

Cheers!

-A

The 'L' Word

Today I want to talk about what not to say on a first date.

No, I didn't tell some poor soul that I loved him on the first date, what kind of girl do you think I am?

A couple nights ago I found myself telling the story of a date I went on very shortly after moving to the Cleve.

While out with a friend in the basement of Blind Pig (mistake #1), a friend of a friend grabbed me and flung me in front of one of his friends on the dance floor - meet my friend Collin.*

*His name may or may not have been Collin.

So we danced. All night. He was pretty impressive, actually, so when he asked for my number at the end of the night I gave it to him (mistake #2).

Friend of a friend. Safe.

And so the dating game begins...kinda. He called a few days later and the next weekend we went on a date.

He picked me up, took me to Little Italy, it was awkward.

And of course, in my oh-so-standard word vomit fashion I proceeded to dispel way too much information.

Apparently somewhere along the way I thought that filling the silence, no matter what came out of my mouth, would turn around any awkward situation. Typically, especially in my life, it makes things more awkward and I end up embarrassing myself. Though it's still a strategy I live by.

In my ramblings I mentioned just how drunk I was when I met him.

Lush.

Oh and if you didn't catch it, that was mistake #3.

The point I was attempting to make was that I was only out on the dance floor because of the vodka Red Bulls I had downed previously in the night. So in reality, I was trying to prove that I wasn't a typical club-attending 20-something.

When he mentioned to me that he was completely sober the entire night I almost flagged down the waiter to order another glass of wine.

LUSH.

I'm pretty positive that's what was going though his mind, anyhow.

Wow - nothing like a typical TMI situation gone wrong to spoil the evening, eh?

Needless to say, that was the first and last date with Mr. Sober dancer.

Impression FAIL.

So if you learn one thing from my diarrhea of the mouth it's this: if you were drunk the first time you met someone, I'd wait until after the first date to tell them.

Cheers!

-A

I'm gullible

It's true. I am.

Proof:

The SO tells me that "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" is on the top of his Netflix list.
-Me: really?
-SO: stares at me blankly

On moving day I call my parents to find out their ETA and current location.
-Mom: we're still at home, stuck in the driveway actually. Your dad's trying to dig us out.
-Me: instantly stressed out. seriously? why didn't you call sooner?
-Mom: in fits of laughter. (After all, it was May.)

And one time, I was even coaxed into believing there was such a thing as left-handed silverware.

Yes. Really.

In my defense, it did take some effort on their part to get me to become a believer. And of course, it was something I never lived down. Rightfully so.

I like to think that it's not that I'm gullible so much as that I'm pure of heart and truly trust the people in my life. But, given my overall cynical nature this is hard for even me to believe.

Though even with my recent transition to being a brunette I still play these instances off as blonde moments.

Please tell me I'm not the only one out there who's logical mind slips up every now and again and believes the complete nonsense that people are feeding you...please?

Cheers!

-A

Mindless struggles

Don't let the title fool you, it's not as if I'm in a completely mindless state - rather, I'm thinking entirely too much causing my ability to concentrate on unrelated topics to evaporate.

So, today you'll be pointed in the direction of some of the greatest posts of the recent past.

These will give you an idea of where my brain seems to have disappeared to, as well.

I love holding hands - cheesy, maybe. But there's just something about it.

Each day is one step closer to me being a proud puppy owner - a mini dachshund to be exact.

Is there a way to prevent stage 4 from setting in?

What women really want - fascinating. Count me in agreement with the Original List.

Thanks goes out to Mel, Ben, and 27 Dresses for supplying me with content for another cop out post.

Until I'm back on solid ground...

Cheers!

-A

Expectations

All my life I've worked hard to exceed expectations, and I'm usually pretty successful, if I do say so myself.

It's not unusual for people to take one look at me and assume I'm some little blonde girl that has no idea what's going on in the world around her. I take great satisfaction from reactions I get after discussing my career, an upcoming marathon, or current events in sports with people I meet - I guess they just don't expect it. What, does everyone expect me to talk about shopping and The Hills?

Not that exceeding expectations comes easy by any means. I work hard, sacrifice time and put my heart and soul into everything I do - career, running, relationships...everything.

This backfires, however, when rather than meeting expectations, I completely bomb and disappoint someone. As a perfectionist, this hurts more than it should, because in turn I end up disappointing myself the most.

I tend to be a pretty proud person at times - *gasp* I know, right - especially when the things I've accomplished took exceptional sacrifice and investment (read: time, money, the shedding of a few tears). And often in these situations, I'm pleased with the outcome - but what about when someone isn't? When you disappoint someone else because you didn't meet their expectations. And even worse, what if it's a situation that you can't fix? Recovering from this can be the most difficult of all.

In the end, the final product is worth the added stress - or so that's what I tell myself. But sometimes this desire to exceed expectations causes more distress than need be. However, I've yet to figure out how to take a step back and care a little bit less. Because as I see it, that's the only way to overcome this sick need to continuously go above and beyond and blow everyone out of the water.

How to go about this, is the ultimate question.

So what about you - do you find yourself in similar situations? How do you work through situations where you haven't exactly met expectations without beating yourself up?

Cheers!

-A

Unthankful

(My apologies in advance, this post is not up to par. But I tried, and doesn't everyone deserve an A for effort? Okay, no, but it took me a long time to write and I'm not just going to let all that time go to waste, so this is what you get. I hope you keep reading anyway.)

That's typically what I am all year.

I'm a cynical 20-something with high expectations and an ability to attract uncomfortable situations.

Though people tell me I bring them good luck - at least I'm helping someone out in the end.

Regardless, normally I would focus on the fact that the upcoming holidays mean that winter is upon us and the bad weather has only just begun - which means driving in snow, sleet, and freezing rain. Not to mention enduring hours of forced family gatherings, spending my hard earned paycheck on gifts for my cousin's husband's sister who will be joining the family around the Christmas tree, and figuring out how to take off the 10 pounds I gained from eating only cookies and pie over the holidays - given that my carnivorous family neglects to accommodate the vegetarian.

But today, I'm not going to think about these things. Nope.

So to change it up a bit, I wanted to talk about all the things I have to be thankful for, given that this is the time of the year to give thanks (Thanks-giving...even I can figure that one out).


My job - in this economy, who wouldn't be happy to have a job, especially one they can say they enjoy getting up for in the morning.

The accidental hair color change - sure, I wanted to go a little darker, but now I'm officially not a blonde anymore. And you know what, I really like it!

Discovering Americanos - yes, this is something that happened just this past year, apparently I'm behind the times. Regardless, without this lovely addiction I may not be able to make it through the day.

New routines - with the commitment to a marathon and my recent book obsession, I've taken my weekly routine to a new level. Unless of course I get a midweek invitation for dinner at Lola - I will be dining there tonight hoping, in the back of my mind, that Michael Symon makes an appearance.

Photography - without this hobby I wouldn't be who I am. It's the ultimate creative outlet for me. And, I've even started selling now. So, keep an eye out. If I post something here you like, I'm happy to get you a print!

Being the black sheep - over the years I have come to realize I'm the black sheep of my family. It's not all bad - I cherish this status, actually. And because it's widely understood, I have an excuse to bail out at times, or just not show up. But of course, I will be showing up in Michigan for Thanksgiving weekend (hence the early 'thankful' post, if you hadn't caught on before). Though I am thankful for my little family which will be getting bigger shortly when my brother and his new fiancee tie the knot.

Longstanding friendship - this is the time of year to cherish those nearest to you and I've really learned over the last year how valuable my friends in this city, back home, and around the country are to me. Thanks guys *tear*

My independence - as much as it may seem like I'm a little harsh on my family, I wouldn't trade them for the world because they taught me how to be strong and independent. That's something I hold onto tightly.

Social media- these tools really help me in all aspects of my life, especially those things above. Maybe that makes me a geek (okay, so I know it does, when your significant other is in finance and you casually mention 'tweeting' in conversation, you're bound to get the look of, 'holy crap, I had no idea you were such a nerd!')

So really, I'm thankful for being a nerd - and quite proud if I do say so myself.

What are all y'all thankful for?

Cheers?

-A

Fork in the Road

No, not this one. Though we do love CC. In fact, I owe her some love for awarding me yet again with this lovely award which states:

"This blog invests and believes in proximity" (meaning, that blogging makes us 'close'-being close through proxy). These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbon of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to 8 bloggers and include this text.

So I'm passing it along to the lovely Cleveland bloggers listed below as they are the greatest and I had the most fantastic time with them last week!

Narm @ White-Collar Redneck
Alexa @ Cleveland's a Plum
Ashley @ Our Little Apartment
Teets @ Yes, I'm Judging You
Always a Bridesmaid @ 27 Dresses in Cleveland
Allison @ Confessions of a Cohabitant
Suzanne @ Life on Mars
Mel @ Life, Liberty &Pursuit of Your Boyfriend

If you're not reading these blogs, you should. They're much better than mine.

But now, onto the actual crossroads - the one I'm facing at the moment...

As you may have gathered, I have a dilemma. One that will cause me to make a very big decision in the near-ish future.

What is it? Well my friends, we'll save that for outside of the blogosphere.

I know. I suck.

But the bigger problem here is that I'm unsure of how to approach this decision. It's one that has the potential to affect numerous individuals aside from myself.

This stresses me out - decisions only affecting me, positively or negatively, I can handle. Because if when I mess it all up I'm the only one who has to deal with those consequences. But the last thing I want to do is make a decision where others are left to pick up the pieces of a not so great situation.

Ack.

Needless to say, I'm struggling with where to begin on this one. Do I make a pros and cons list - is that even appropriate for making a real adult decision? Or, do I employ a 3rd party to hash out the details from an objective perspective?

Ultimately it's up to me, and I know this...I just need to figure out where to start. So tell me dear readers, what is your process for making big, life altering decisions? Guidance appreciated.

Cheers!

-A

For us or for others?

Perfection.

It's something that we all strive for, and yet, being a 'perfectionist' is often talked about in a negative way. Why is that?

(ok, so it's not completely relevant, but about the only thing Google Images was giving me for perfect...)

Perfectionism is merely striving for an ideal that we have in mind.

And bettering ourselves is a life-long journey.

But in the end is it about overcoming obstacles and pleasing ourselves, or to become perfect in the eyes of others?

Sure, no one wants to disappoint those in their lives, but is this a viscous cycle of improving one day and feeling bad the next because the same progress was not made for us, or for everyone else?

Taking my life as an example, because that's the only one I'm certain about, I spend much of my time striving to make others happy, or at least make them content. And when this doesn't happen, my mood spirals downward.

But it's a catch-22 you see, because when your livelihood depends on how others view you, in turn making your mistakes the demise of your day/week/month, where's the internal incentive to continue making progress after these blunders?

As I see it, us perfectionists - yes, I'm owning up to this - need to take a step back and ensure that each day we are striving to become better, not just for those around us, but for ourselves too.

Because at the end of each day, everyone is thinking of himself and his loved ones foremost, and we deserve to do a little of that too.

So tell me fellow perfectionists, what keeps your motivation for perfection running high?

Cheers!

-A

Big steps

Over the course of the last couple months, some rather big changes have taken place in my life. 

I'm by no means complaining - in fact, completely the opposite. I've come to realize that I'm really lucky for these new adventures.

What I also realized is that somehow I've managed to get to this point while speaking my mind at all times. I have no filter.

None.

What. So. Ever.

After another big step this weekend, in what I like to think is a great direction, it hit me that I'm incredibly lucky to even have these opportunities given my complete lack of tact at times. 

And trust me, when I notice this, it must be bad.

But I suppose, at least I'm honest...right?

So I've realized this flaw, and I may or may not do something to improve it. Admitting is the first step.

How many of you out there have gotten yourselves into messes due to lack of brain to mouth filter?

Cheers!

-A