Give it a rest, Debbie

So I know y'all were expecting another vacation recap post today, but I thought instead, I'd break the mold a bit and discuss something that's been bugging me recently.

Surprise, the cynical side rears it's ugly head again.

But this time, it's for good reason.

It seems, as of late, there's been an epidemic going around. It's called Debbie Downer syndrome.

In recent interactions with friends and acquaintances, there's been this low cloud of negativity hanging around. And even when people seem happy on the surface, the undertones of conversation is often sullen.

Sure, you're probably thinking that I've got good reason to be chipper after a seven day tropical vacation. But I'm talking about emotion that runs a little deeper than that.

After all, I too am stuck in this snowy April weather like everyone else, and sure, my Spartans endured a tough loss to UNC last night in the NCAA national championship game, but you can't let that stuff rock you to the core.

Now don't get me wrong, there are some things in life, the unavoidable tragedies and unfortunate circumstances where grieving is not only acceptable and expected, but it's needed. These are not the situations to which I am referring.

It's these perpetual Debbie Downer types that really start to get to me after a while. What's worse, is the things they complain about. Ordinary, mundane issues of daily life. And often, a solution is well within their reach.

It's starting to seem like people are losing control over their own happiness.

Is it that we don't realize just how much power we have over our outlook on life?

Maybe it's that I was lucky enough to grow up in a family that encouraged my growth into a strong person. One that showed me how to take the reigns of my life, so to speak, and keep a level head.

Of course, we're all aware of my cynical nature - it's a defining characteristic, like it or not.

And as someone who often allows the actions of others to impact my own happiness, I've got some nerve preaching this concept to others (see what I did there...admitting it makes it okay). But if we all took a step back and looked at what we've got, you might be surprised at just how happy you really are right now.

And if you're still not, then do something about it and quit bringing the rest of us down with you. Jerk!

Follow a dream, explore a new passion, help someone. All of these things have the potential to bring you outside of yourself. Be a part of something bigger than just you.

And who knows, you might accomplish something you never dreamed was possible - like waking up and smiling.

Cheers!

-A

Another one bites the dust

Another friend that is.

A male friend.

*gasp* Shocker I know.

Luckily, it really has nothing to do with me - it's all about the new girlfriend.

Gah! The girlfriend gets me every time!

Why is it than when a guy starts dating a new girl he has to give up his current friendships with people of the opposite sex?

Now, don't get me wrong, some of my best guy friends have managed to stick around through relationships and even marriages - granted, I'm usually friends with the wife, too - but it pisses me off to no end when a solid friendship we had before she came along has to be ruined purely because she's insecure.

Bitch.

And odds are, it's you she doesn't trust. Not me.

Idiot.

Maybe you two do deserve each other after all.

But I have to admit that I feel a little bit bad for the poor bastard. Too bad he can't grow a pair and stand up for a friendship he once cherished.

See?

See how happy people can be in platonic friendships?!

Yes, I am wearing Pooh Bear gloves. Shut it.

This goes back to my question about friendship in your 20s. Sure, it can be a struggle to keep friends in and out of new relationships, but seriously, if the friendship came first, shouldn't that be taken into consideration before kicking them to the curb?

I certainly think so.

-A

p.s. - thanks for untagging yourself from all my Facebook photos. One more way to drive the point home, eh?

Expectations

All my life I've worked hard to exceed expectations, and I'm usually pretty successful, if I do say so myself.

It's not unusual for people to take one look at me and assume I'm some little blonde girl that has no idea what's going on in the world around her. I take great satisfaction from reactions I get after discussing my career, an upcoming marathon, or current events in sports with people I meet - I guess they just don't expect it. What, does everyone expect me to talk about shopping and The Hills?

Not that exceeding expectations comes easy by any means. I work hard, sacrifice time and put my heart and soul into everything I do - career, running, relationships...everything.

This backfires, however, when rather than meeting expectations, I completely bomb and disappoint someone. As a perfectionist, this hurts more than it should, because in turn I end up disappointing myself the most.

I tend to be a pretty proud person at times - *gasp* I know, right - especially when the things I've accomplished took exceptional sacrifice and investment (read: time, money, the shedding of a few tears). And often in these situations, I'm pleased with the outcome - but what about when someone isn't? When you disappoint someone else because you didn't meet their expectations. And even worse, what if it's a situation that you can't fix? Recovering from this can be the most difficult of all.

In the end, the final product is worth the added stress - or so that's what I tell myself. But sometimes this desire to exceed expectations causes more distress than need be. However, I've yet to figure out how to take a step back and care a little bit less. Because as I see it, that's the only way to overcome this sick need to continuously go above and beyond and blow everyone out of the water.

How to go about this, is the ultimate question.

So what about you - do you find yourself in similar situations? How do you work through situations where you haven't exactly met expectations without beating yourself up?

Cheers!

-A

For us or for others?

Perfection.

It's something that we all strive for, and yet, being a 'perfectionist' is often talked about in a negative way. Why is that?

(ok, so it's not completely relevant, but about the only thing Google Images was giving me for perfect...)

Perfectionism is merely striving for an ideal that we have in mind.

And bettering ourselves is a life-long journey.

But in the end is it about overcoming obstacles and pleasing ourselves, or to become perfect in the eyes of others?

Sure, no one wants to disappoint those in their lives, but is this a viscous cycle of improving one day and feeling bad the next because the same progress was not made for us, or for everyone else?

Taking my life as an example, because that's the only one I'm certain about, I spend much of my time striving to make others happy, or at least make them content. And when this doesn't happen, my mood spirals downward.

But it's a catch-22 you see, because when your livelihood depends on how others view you, in turn making your mistakes the demise of your day/week/month, where's the internal incentive to continue making progress after these blunders?

As I see it, us perfectionists - yes, I'm owning up to this - need to take a step back and ensure that each day we are striving to become better, not just for those around us, but for ourselves too.

Because at the end of each day, everyone is thinking of himself and his loved ones foremost, and we deserve to do a little of that too.

So tell me fellow perfectionists, what keeps your motivation for perfection running high?

Cheers!

-A

Demon Cat

The roommate has cats. Two of them.

I am a dog person. The bigger the better.

Though growing up I did have a cat who lived for 13 years. Bonkers. He held a special place in my heart. We rescued him from the side of the road and took him in as our own. As an indoor/outdoor cat with claws, he had serious boundaries inside the house. Quite the little attitude on him too - it was his way or no way. The only person he ever really interacted with was my dad - but we loved him just the same.

The roommates cats are indoor, declawed, people-loving creatures. They shed like crazy, therefore my bedroom is off limits. This requires me to keep my door shut at all times, but I'm okay with that.

One of the cats hates this with such a passion, it has become her mission to enter my room, destroy things and bury herself so far under my bed she never has to leave. Unfortunately for her, I will go to great lengths to drag her out from under my bed - which really isn't all that difficult given the fact that she has no front claws to anchor herself to the carpet.

The weekend started with these antics followed by a number of other hi-jinks including knocking the awards off the desk in the living room, chasing and torturing the other cat, wrestling with and tossing the throw rug up into the air, and the grand finale of bolting up over the kitchen counters and ending atop the refrigerator. It's at moments like these you look into her eyes and see what I like to call Demon Cat. She goes to great lengths to do things she knows she shouldn't and shows not one ounce of remorse after the fact.

The roommate thinks she's insecure. I think she's possessed. Is there such a thing as a cat exorcism?

Cheers!

-A

Misperception

Today I was thrown for a loop - and a rather large one at that.

Generally I consider myself to be a good judge of character. When sizing people up upon first interaction my overall feeling typically ends up being fairly accurate. Not only that, when meeting others in a group, most members of that group tend to have similar views of a person and can agree on the general nature of the new guy. Today, this was not the case.

After walking away from a recent interaction and upon further discussion with those involved, my opinions were solely that, mine. It seems that the others have opinions that border on polar opposite my initial thoughts. This has me taken aback. Looking back, I see some valid points in their thought process that make sense, and in making a character judgment I want to not only base my opinion on how the interaction felt and my emotions walking away from the situation, but also on actions that took place during the encounter.

Still, however, after reflecting on the situation in great detail, I have a perception that greatly differs from those with whom I shared the experience. It scares me to think that I my opinions differ so wildly from those I'm closest to. But what scares me more is that I may not be as good a judge of character as I originally thought.

So is it me, is it them, or is it the new guy? And how exactly do I get my keen sense of character perception back on track? Looks like I may have some more pondering to do on this one.

Cheers!

-A

Perception

It's all about perception. How you look at each individual situation and evaluate the circumstances will determine not only how you feel about it, but how you react to it. If only this concept was as easy to apply as it is to comprehend - espeically for those of us who are known to over-analyze everything that happens in our lives.

My advice to all you over-thinkers and over-reacters out there: take a step back, look objectively at the situation, and evaluate how much it impacts your life before you react. You might find that, in fact, no reaction is needed and you have saved yourself the extra angst and frustration. Still pissed? I say follow your heart and take action. Because sometimes, you just need to kick some ass to feel better.

Cheers!

-A