You don't want my shoes

Late last night the SO and I were talking about our day. Thankfully, mine was rather uneventful, as his was fairly high-stress.

In the recap he was discussing a conversation with a man on his team that was so intense it got me worked up just listening to it.

Here's a little background for you: apparently in his prime this man used to be an executive of sorts, making "six figs" as he puts it, but given the economic decline and the near disappearance of his line of work, he's stuck working with the 20-somethings, doing work that he believes to be beneath him.

Editor's note: I don't understand half of what the SO does for a living, it's so complex. But of course, this is coming from a communications professional, what do I know?

So while arguing with the SO about leaving early, regardless if his work is done, Mr. Executive says, "try walking a day in my shoes."

Now, this brings me to my point.

No one, no matter what they've been through in their life, has the right to say that to someone else. Ever.

You just don't know what the person you're saying that to has gone through. You have no idea.

Giving this guy the benefit of the doubt, I'm sure he looks at the SO and thinks to himself that a 20-something kid has no idea what it's like to work his way to the top only to be smacked back down by elements that are out of your control, all the while trying to support a family - and so on and so forth.

But the fact of the matter is, he really doesn't know. Just because someone looks like they've lived a charmed life, it doesn't mean they have - nor does it mean they don't understand stress.

Oh, did I mention that he said "you don't know what stress is." Yeah, right. That too.

And truthfully, what this guy was complaining about is nothing in the grand scheme of the kinds of stress life can bring. Really, anyone who's ever endured true stress and life hardships, only to be left standing tall on the other side, doesn't go around rubbing it in others faces. They just don't.

So take a lesson from this douche - don't be one - and never assume you know how someone else leads their life. They could be two, or twenty, or ninety, you just don't know what kind of life experiences they've live through. No one has the right to assume their life is more difficult than others around them.

Seriously, you just don't know.

Cheers!

-A

Another one bites the dust

Another friend that is.

A male friend.

*gasp* Shocker I know.

Luckily, it really has nothing to do with me - it's all about the new girlfriend.

Gah! The girlfriend gets me every time!

Why is it than when a guy starts dating a new girl he has to give up his current friendships with people of the opposite sex?

Now, don't get me wrong, some of my best guy friends have managed to stick around through relationships and even marriages - granted, I'm usually friends with the wife, too - but it pisses me off to no end when a solid friendship we had before she came along has to be ruined purely because she's insecure.

Bitch.

And odds are, it's you she doesn't trust. Not me.

Idiot.

Maybe you two do deserve each other after all.

But I have to admit that I feel a little bit bad for the poor bastard. Too bad he can't grow a pair and stand up for a friendship he once cherished.

See?

See how happy people can be in platonic friendships?!

Yes, I am wearing Pooh Bear gloves. Shut it.

This goes back to my question about friendship in your 20s. Sure, it can be a struggle to keep friends in and out of new relationships, but seriously, if the friendship came first, shouldn't that be taken into consideration before kicking them to the curb?

I certainly think so.

-A

p.s. - thanks for untagging yourself from all my Facebook photos. One more way to drive the point home, eh?

The woman and her Beamer

True story.

Early this morning, as I was getting out of my Saturn Vue in the parking garage below my office, a woman in a 3 series BMW pulled in next to me.

I was gathering my things as she got out of her car and proceeded to turn around and wait. As I climbed out and started toward the building entrance I realized, she was waiting for me.

C'mon now, lady. I'm not going to do anything to your precious car. Granted, I do drive a Saturn, but it's new, and pretty, and yes it's actually made of metal. And really, do I look like a girl who's about to smash open your passenger window and hot wire your car? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Being a little irked by this I decided to dawdle and fumble with my things a little longer, just to make her wait. Her anxiety shown through even more when she clicked the lock button on her key fob once more, in turn beeping the horn, just to let me know that indeed she did lock her precious vehicle.

Once I started toward the building she turned to walk five paces in front of me - as if she'd never even seen me.

To further test my theory - not that much testing was needed, given that it was 6:30 a.m., we were the only one's in the garage, and she was looking directly at me this entire time - I quickly spun back toward my car as if I'd forgotten something.

When she realized I was no longer on her heals, she stopped immediately, turned in my direction and proceeded to wait...again. Her glare could have burned a hole through me.

I shut my drivers side door and made clear eye contact as I locked my car, hitting the button twice, just to be smug.

As I followed her into the building, she pretended as if I wasn't there and never once held a door for me.

If you're going to non-verbally accuse me of wanting to steal your car, the least you can do is hold the door for me when I don't.

Bitch.

-A

'Find out what it means to me'

In this crazy, mixed up world of ours, it seems as though we are losing a quality that [to me] is one of the most important of them all: respect.

Respect for ourselves, respect for our environment, and respect for others.

Why is it, that more than ever, people in this society seem to be so consumed with themselves that they disregard their fellow man and his surroundings?

Of course, I have a number of theories on this (would you expect any less, dear readers?), spanning from how our generation was raised to be independent - think about our schooling and careers first - before adding others to the picture, to the way that being online each and every day is corrupting the way we behave face to face with one another, creating a highly connected society that is more lonely than we've ever been, allowing us to lose all sight of what it means to have respect for anyone or anything aside from ourselves.

But this isn't about me - it's about the billions of other people walking the planet.

Isn't it possible to love yourself and treat those around you with the same amount of respect that you expect in return? I like to think so.

Respect for the time, space, and ideas of other living beings and the world around us. It's the little things in life that really make a difference. Because in the end, if you don't respect the people in your life, how can they, in turn, trust you - and vice versa.

The moral of the story - have a little respect, for everyone and everything. You don't always have to agree be in agreement with the thoughts and actions of others, but making an effort to accept others for who they are and what they stand for can make all the difference.

How we've gotten so far off track - beats me, I'm just a 20-something blogger hoping to find my way.

Cheers!

-A

Selfishness

It’s human nature. We all think of our own well being before we think of others, especially in the face of danger or human need at its purest.

For example, take a look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. When a person is in this first level, animal instinct kicks in, allowing all psychological focus to be placed on attaining these primary needs. In our society today, it is even acceptable to focus solely on oneself while fighting for safety and security as shown by the second level. Hell, I certainly wouldn’t blame someone for thinking selfishly while trying to acquire safe housing and financial security.

But what about those times when the needs aren’t quite so raw? How acceptable is pure selfish behavior when you’ve advanced to the third level: belonging and love. Seems to me that in order to provide for these needs, to belong to a community, to sustain friendships and relationships, one must move beyond thinking only of himself.

It seems, that over the years I’ve encountered a number of people who seemingly meet these social desires while being 110 percent selfish a majority of the time. Everything from stealing friends and lovers, to gossip and lying to get your way, to making someone’s special day about you (weddings, birthdays, bridal showers, I’ve witnessed it frequently), to judging innocent people openly in public in hopes of making yourself look better (and just as an FYI: most people can see straight through this to your self-conscious, insecure, jealous core). So how do the most selfish of our society manage to keep a strong network of friends? Do they find others as crudely self-centered as they, or are they the dominant leaders of the pack with followers that are simply too timid to stray? If anyone can enlighten me as to how this is possible, please share some wisdom with a comment. Because honestly, I would love to get everything I want out of life, have the world cater to me, and still manage to have my friends and family stick around. Wait, what am I saying? No I wouldn’t!

Taking a look at the fourth level, esteem needs indicates that I want to have a shred of self-respect and feel recognized by others for being good natured. Sure, I want to get to the top, and get everything I want along the way, but if I don’t have to work for it and I’ve trampled on others along the way, then how can I respect myself?

So dear readers, are you annoyed with the number of I wants in this post yet? I hope so. Because now you’ll have an understanding of the fraction of the annoyance in my life recently. When are some people going to realize it’s not always about them and look around at their fellow man? For some, it’s hopeless. But do us all a favor anyhow and pretend every now and again to give a crap about the rest of us. Because let’s face it, I actually do care about you, no matter how much you may or may not deserve my concern.

Cheers!

-A