For example, take a look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
When a person is in this first level, animal instinct kicks in, allowing all psychological focus to be placed on attaining these primary needs. In our society today, it is even acceptable to focus solely on oneself while fighting for safety and security as shown by the second level. Hell, I certainly wouldn’t blame someone for thinking selfishly while trying to acquire safe housing and financial security.But what about those times when the needs aren’t quite so raw? How acceptable is pure selfish behavior when you’ve advanced to the third level: belonging and love. Seems to me that in order to provide for these needs, to belong to a community, to sustain friendships and relationships, one must move beyond thinking only of himself.
It seems, that over the years I’ve encountered a number of people who seemingly meet these social desires while being 110 percent selfish a majority of the time. Everything from stealing friends and lovers, to gossip and lying to get your way, to making someone’s special day about you (weddings, birthdays, bridal showers, I’ve witnessed it frequently), to judging innocent people openly in public in hopes of making yourself look better (and just as an FYI: most people can see straight through this to your self-conscious, insecure, jealous core). So how do the most selfish of our society manage to keep a strong network of friends? Do they find others as crudely self-centered as they, or are they the dominant leaders of the pack with followers that are simply too timid to stray? If anyone can enlighten me as to how this is possible, please share some wisdom with a comment. Because honestly, I would love to get everything I want out of life, have the world cater to me, and still manage to have my friends and family stick around. Wait, what am I saying? No I wouldn’t!
Taking a look at the fourth level, esteem needs indicates that I want to have a shred of self-respect and feel recognized by others for being good natured. Sure, I want to get to the top, and get everything I want along the way, but if I don’t have to work for it and I’ve trampled on others along the way, then how can I respect myself?
So dear readers, are you annoyed with the number of I wants in this post yet? I hope so. Because now you’ll have an understanding of the fraction of the annoyance in my life recently. When are some people going to realize it’s not always about them and look around at their fellow man? For some, it’s hopeless. But do us all a favor anyhow and pretend every now and again to give a crap about the rest of us. Because let’s face it, I actually do care about you, no matter how much you may or may not deserve my concern.
It seems, that over the years I’ve encountered a number of people who seemingly meet these social desires while being 110 percent selfish a majority of the time. Everything from stealing friends and lovers, to gossip and lying to get your way, to making someone’s special day about you (weddings, birthdays, bridal showers, I’ve witnessed it frequently), to judging innocent people openly in public in hopes of making yourself look better (and just as an FYI: most people can see straight through this to your self-conscious, insecure, jealous core). So how do the most selfish of our society manage to keep a strong network of friends? Do they find others as crudely self-centered as they, or are they the dominant leaders of the pack with followers that are simply too timid to stray? If anyone can enlighten me as to how this is possible, please share some wisdom with a comment. Because honestly, I would love to get everything I want out of life, have the world cater to me, and still manage to have my friends and family stick around. Wait, what am I saying? No I wouldn’t!
Taking a look at the fourth level, esteem needs indicates that I want to have a shred of self-respect and feel recognized by others for being good natured. Sure, I want to get to the top, and get everything I want along the way, but if I don’t have to work for it and I’ve trampled on others along the way, then how can I respect myself?
So dear readers, are you annoyed with the number of I wants in this post yet? I hope so. Because now you’ll have an understanding of the fraction of the annoyance in my life recently. When are some people going to realize it’s not always about them and look around at their fellow man? For some, it’s hopeless. But do us all a favor anyhow and pretend every now and again to give a crap about the rest of us. Because let’s face it, I actually do care about you, no matter how much you may or may not deserve my concern.
Cheers!
-A
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Editor's note: This post is dedicated to Ryan and Shannon, who have both encountered a number of these people in recent times, all the while continuing to care. A recent experience of my own led me to draft this commentary for everyone on this side of the fence. I'm thinking about y'all, even though some of yours are only thinking of themselves.
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