Thursday, October 23, 2008

Never tell a girl she's a 6

This is a guest post by one of my favorites from back in my college days. You can find Jennie here. She's amazing, and I love her.

Tailgate… it’s a favorite pastime for some, a way to pump up before a big game for others, and most importantly a time for random run-ins with people you may or may not know. This past weekend’s tailgate at Michigan State University certainly did not disappoint in the chance encounters arena.

In a matter of a few hours, tailgaters participate in a few rounds of white trash golf, a.k.a cornhole, or bags, eat their body weight in brats and chip dip, and of drink alcohol as if prohibition will reemerge at any second. It is this last action that helps create the random interactions that makes tailgate famous.

The MSU v. OSU tailgate started off quietly enough… but soon hit ultimate awkwardness with a series of socially inappropriate situations…

  1. Awkward scenario #1- name recollection. There are a few options here, blame alcohol for your forgetfulness, blurt out a name you hope is correct, act like you don’t actually know the other party… or blindly smile. This took place twice… once I was the guilty party and the tried to use the first excuse… which in my state seemed quite successful as it was followed by awkward scenario #2. The second time a former co-worker blurted the name of someone that graduated a year before me… convinced I was this person and when the truth came finally came out awkward scenario #3 happened.
  2. Awkward scenario #2- inappropriate proposals. Once again, our friend alcohol is to blame here, but nonetheless I was asked by a visa-holding student to marry him… you know just to help with the green card process. Though tempting… I was always hoping my first proposal might come from someone’s name I could actually recall.
  3. Awkward scenario #3- unfortunate personal ratings. No substance explanation needed… we all know who is mostly responsible for these. Usually beer goggles improve ratings; however, in my case, not so much. The participant from the second awkward scenario #1, upon realizing his name recollection blunder… decided to go so far as to say there is no way I was this particular other person as they were a “2” and I was a “6”… A 6, how thoughtful. Well my dear, more sober friend quickly corrected him and said “You never tell a girl she’s a 6… you’re at least an 8”. Then numbers went flying and I think I even heard a 12 which clearly makes perfect sense on scale on 1 to 10.

Needless to say, I had my fair share of supremely tailgate-tastic moments this weekend… Now its your turn to share… any good awkward run-ins lately?

3 comments:

Christian Holm said...

Here's a reality check on the ratings... :D

Guys only have two: hot or not. That's it. A guy has to put too much thought into where a girl rates on a scale of 1-10. It's way too complex for our brains...

So far as innapropriate proposals... I may have... no comment...

Ashley said...

Lady, your stories are always classic! There are situations you couldn't pay me to endure, but at least you walk away with good stories, right?

Unknown said...

Don't worry Ash, your way more than a 10! Miss ya.