Tuesday, June 10, 2008

How to be liked

Tonight at yoga class I met someone I thoroughly enjoyed. She was friendly and personable and our short conversation was enjoyable. Though from the moment she walked into the room conversing with another student, before even meeting her, I knew she would be lovely. But I can't really put my finger on why, exactly.

After class, in my reflective, meditative state, I got to pondering this further. What characteristics make someone a person you want to know? What personality traits do those people have that when they walk out of the room you think to yourself, "I really like her/him/them"?

My introspection has led me to a few ideas, but I'd like to hear from you, dear readers. What makes someone likable?

1. They start conversation with me.
2. They smile, are friendly, are warm.
3. They ask questions and seem interested in what I have to say.
4. Their speech reflects empathy.

I tried to come up with a solid 5th to complete the list, but am struggling and didn't want to half-ass it. So, what are some of the others? Why are your dearest friends, your friends in the first place?

Cheers!

-A

5 comments:

Britni said...

I think one of my biggies is that everyone I get along with really well has to be able to laugh and have fun. It's so much easier to be close to someone when you can laugh with each other.

Ashley said...

Editors note: Aside from the typical qualities that make someone likable: niceness, warmness and generosity of spirit, I've found that most people I enjoy being around have a certain something, almost an 'it' factor that draws me to them. This, however, is what I am struggling to put my finger on...

playful - very true. I too tend to enjoy myself most when I'm around others who can laugh and joke, especially with those who are capable of laughing at themselves. I believe you have to be able to laugh at yourself to truly let go and have a good time. We are all big dorks from time to time, you just have to learn to be okay with that.

alexa @clevelandsaplum said...

i am a very good judge of character. i'm not sure how i know but i just know instantly if i'm going to get along with a person.

i have often thought the same thing that you wrote about but i can't think of a 5th. maybe laughter? laughter is huge for me.

Narm said...

If they put out.

Kidding.

For me it is not only a sense of humor - but the ability to add something to a conversation. When someone cracks a joke or says something witty or intelligent I find myself more likely to get along with them.

Ashley said...

alexa - I too pride myself on being a good judge of character. Maybe it's just a feeling you get when you meet others that will remain a mystery. But agreed, if they can make me laugh we'll usually get along.

narm - that goes without saying. Only those who put out can be a part of my inner circle.

But seriously, contributing to conversation is a good one!