What I’m about to divulge isn’t exactly from a real-life encounter, rather these are words of wisdom that hit close to my heart. During a recent after-work midweek break (consisting of sushi and a rental – what more can a girl ask for) the movie of choice was Ben Affleck’s “Gone Baby Gone.” Upon closing credits I wasn’t too sure how I felt about it, but after some deep reflection and analyzing, this flick is quickly climbing the charts (-A’s movie rating chart, that is). One scene stands out above the rest to me, with a quote from Patrick Kenzie (played by the scrawny Casey Affleck [c’mon Ben, I know he’s your brother and all, but you could have cast a more intimidating actor here]). A private investigator sits across the table from a local Boston police officer. Realizing that he has been deceived by someone he whole-heartedly trusted, private investigator Kenzie confidently speaks the following words:
“I can’t think of one reason big enough for him to lie about that’s small enough not to matter.”
Okay. Now read it again, I’ll wait. Pretty profound isn’t it?
Dishonesty, lying, deceit. To me, these are relationship deal-breakers. Dishonesty leads to a lack of trust, and really, what’s a relationship without trust. Friends, family, colleagues, it’s all the same. To have trust in someone else is the ultimate compliment. But to break the trust and the faith others have in you, is the ultimate crime.
Patrick Kenzie’s thoughts not only reflect a spoken truth, but they evoke emotion from all audiences. We’ve all been there, the moment you realize that someone in your life has deceived you, and what’s worse, you fell right into their dirty, lying palms. So now what, do you wash your hands of them (pun intended) or forgive, with the understanding that one can never forget. Most likely, it depends on the nature of the lie – did he tell you that your hair looked cute to keep from hurting your feelings, or did he kill your cat and blame it on your little brother. Sure, the latter is clearly more offensive than the former, but in the end, it’s all deception.
Personally, I’m an advocate for the truth – ask a question, get the truth – no matter how much it may hurt. At the same time, my decision-making path typically leads me to forgive and never forget, purely because it’s too damn difficult to stay angry (though the history of those who have deceived me never touched on anything nearly as extreme as death, so you can see from where my logic stems).
From what my life has shown me in the last 20+ years, lying is never okay – never. The truth shall set you free, or whatever, rings true. And hopefully, the next time a false statement starts to cross your lips, you’ll wonder if the reason is big enough to lie about, or if it’s small enough not to matter.
Cheers!
-A
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Stronger Personality
For those who know me beyond the blogosphere, it goes without saying that I am a strong personality. Like it or not, I tend to be animated and often highly energetic. Some blame it on the coffee, but I like to think my outgoing nature is a learned trait from my career as a professional communicator – not to mention my type A personality and a desire to be in control of my life, but that’s a topic for another day.
What makes this fact interesting is the encounters I have with other strong personalities. Quite frequently I am called out on my behavior as they see it (and proceed to blow it all out of proportion). For example, I am a highly inquisitive person. Strong personalities tend to see this as nosey – but really, I’m just curious by nature. Not a good example? I didn’t think so either. But as always, this isn’t about me, so let’s move on….
A recent encounter with a fellow young professional who entered my life this winter has made me step back and reflect on personality traits as a basis for friendship. Most people want to befriend someone similar to them – people who come from the same type of background, enjoy the same hobbies, are involved in similar careers, but what about innate personality traits? How similar should those in your life be to you without actually becoming you?
Luckily, life is not black and white. If it was, this giant grey area I’m about to dive into would turn into a black hole and that’d be the last you see of this blogger. Besides, what fun is black and white without a whole bunch of grey to muck it all up anyhow?
I can only speak from experience on this one, so you’ll have to make your own judgments about personality compatability. My only hope is that my real-life experiences act as a better guide than the 40 question test e-Harmony has to offer.
So let’s dive into part one of strong personality encounters to see what the world has to show me.
A recent get-to-know-you discussion with Strong Personality (yes, a proper noun) opened my eyes to what it must be like to converse with me. I’m a talker, one who tends to dominate conversations, interrupt to tell a story, or call up friends just to talk about myself- hey, I never said it was something I’m proud of, but admitting is the first step…right? So imagine, if you will, a conversation between two people who haven’t known one another very long – both of whom are talkers. Questions were bouncing back and forth, with descriptive and entertaining answers in between. Not to mention opinions about experiences of the other person and a multitude of tangents that developed from the constant ebb and flow of thoughts. That conversation could have used a talking stick like the Indians used around their campfires - or is that a myth? Either way, you get the point. Needless to say, I’ve learned in a short period of time how to be a better listener. Sure, it may not have been by choice, but the lesson seems to have carried over to other relationships. In fact, last night I found myself calling my best friend to chat about him – though to no surprise there was a lull in the conversation as he’s quite used to my chatter; so as to not disappoint, I was able to fill the silence.
The sum of this long-winded experience is the lesson of listening and asking questions to those who are also talkers. They certainly appreciate it. And who knows, maybe one day, they’ll encounter a seasoned talker and learn the art of listening too.
Chin up. Mouth shut. Ears open.
Cheers!
-A
What makes this fact interesting is the encounters I have with other strong personalities. Quite frequently I am called out on my behavior as they see it (and proceed to blow it all out of proportion). For example, I am a highly inquisitive person. Strong personalities tend to see this as nosey – but really, I’m just curious by nature. Not a good example? I didn’t think so either. But as always, this isn’t about me, so let’s move on….
A recent encounter with a fellow young professional who entered my life this winter has made me step back and reflect on personality traits as a basis for friendship. Most people want to befriend someone similar to them – people who come from the same type of background, enjoy the same hobbies, are involved in similar careers, but what about innate personality traits? How similar should those in your life be to you without actually becoming you?
Luckily, life is not black and white. If it was, this giant grey area I’m about to dive into would turn into a black hole and that’d be the last you see of this blogger. Besides, what fun is black and white without a whole bunch of grey to muck it all up anyhow?
I can only speak from experience on this one, so you’ll have to make your own judgments about personality compatability. My only hope is that my real-life experiences act as a better guide than the 40 question test e-Harmony has to offer.
So let’s dive into part one of strong personality encounters to see what the world has to show me.
A recent get-to-know-you discussion with Strong Personality (yes, a proper noun) opened my eyes to what it must be like to converse with me. I’m a talker, one who tends to dominate conversations, interrupt to tell a story, or call up friends just to talk about myself- hey, I never said it was something I’m proud of, but admitting is the first step…right? So imagine, if you will, a conversation between two people who haven’t known one another very long – both of whom are talkers. Questions were bouncing back and forth, with descriptive and entertaining answers in between. Not to mention opinions about experiences of the other person and a multitude of tangents that developed from the constant ebb and flow of thoughts. That conversation could have used a talking stick like the Indians used around their campfires - or is that a myth? Either way, you get the point. Needless to say, I’ve learned in a short period of time how to be a better listener. Sure, it may not have been by choice, but the lesson seems to have carried over to other relationships. In fact, last night I found myself calling my best friend to chat about him – though to no surprise there was a lull in the conversation as he’s quite used to my chatter; so as to not disappoint, I was able to fill the silence.
The sum of this long-winded experience is the lesson of listening and asking questions to those who are also talkers. They certainly appreciate it. And who knows, maybe one day, they’ll encounter a seasoned talker and learn the art of listening too.
Chin up. Mouth shut. Ears open.
Cheers!
-A
Friday, February 15, 2008
Those you love
As I come crashing down from the sugar high resulting from yesterday's Valentine's celebrations, I think about all the people I should have reached out to yesterday. It saddens me that this is something I am just now thinking about. In reality, my mind should have been on sending flowers to my mom at work, sending my dad a sappy card (from daughter to daddy, of course), calling my big brother just to say hi and sending e-cards to friends rather than thinking about the evening plans. But alas, I didn't, and now I'm dealing with the guilt.
Growing older (and what I like to think is wiser) I've come to realize that Valentine's Day is not about true love, soul mates, cupid, and all that other junk. It's about recognizing the love you have in your heart for those dearest to you: friends and family. These are the people who have stuck around through the worst times, when you've been terrible to them, and they to you, and have still not run screaming in the other direction.
So, take a quick lesson from me, and reach out to those you love whom you may not have yesterday. It will be much appreciated.
Growing older (and what I like to think is wiser) I've come to realize that Valentine's Day is not about true love, soul mates, cupid, and all that other junk. It's about recognizing the love you have in your heart for those dearest to you: friends and family. These are the people who have stuck around through the worst times, when you've been terrible to them, and they to you, and have still not run screaming in the other direction.
So, take a quick lesson from me, and reach out to those you love whom you may not have yesterday. It will be much appreciated.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Surprise
People come and go from our lives every day. Some we don’t even notice, others have a profound impact on us, positive or negative, while others turn out to be different than what they seem. I’ve found that it’s the people who surprise us that have a lasting impact.
Recently, I encountered a young professional who really seems to have his head on straight. This person was a bit quiet at first (though most people are slightly withdrawn when you first meet them, I’m not, so this still has a tendency to surprise me), carrying typical introduction conversation about careers, families, hobbies…you get the point, we’ve all been there. As time went on, and I began to learn more about this person, not from the words that were spoken as much as the behavior witnessed. There were a number of subtleties that, honestly, when added up, made my head spin. Over time, I realized that my first impression of this person was almost completely inaccurate. As a person who considers herself a good, no great, judge of character, you can imagine my surprise.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Upon first meeting I found this young professional to be friendly, and that didn’t change…if it had, would I be wasting my time writing about it? Let’s hope not.
The best part of getting to know someone is learning things about them that are out of the ordinary. These qualities tend to make people mysterious, and therefore more interesting to us. Often times not knowing what someone is going to do next can put people a little on edge, but that ties back in to interesting – they make you want to know more. Think about it. You go to haunted houses every fall because it’s a thrill, you never know what’s waiting for you around that next corner. And if you did know, odds are you’d spend your $6 admission on the pumpkin ale at the local brewery instead.
Sure, not all people are like haunted houses (though I’m sure we all can picture a few right now…) but it’s the surprises in certain people that keep you coming back for more. We’ve all got that crazy friend, the one who you never know what’s going to come out of their mouth, or what kind of trouble they’ll get into during a night out, but my guess is, you can’t think of a time you didn’t have a complete blast with them.
The people in our lives who continue to surprise us, positively or negatively, keep us on our toes. They make life interesting, unpredictable, mysterious. But in the end, can you image your life without them? I didn’t think so.
Cheers!
-A
Recently, I encountered a young professional who really seems to have his head on straight. This person was a bit quiet at first (though most people are slightly withdrawn when you first meet them, I’m not, so this still has a tendency to surprise me), carrying typical introduction conversation about careers, families, hobbies…you get the point, we’ve all been there. As time went on, and I began to learn more about this person, not from the words that were spoken as much as the behavior witnessed. There were a number of subtleties that, honestly, when added up, made my head spin. Over time, I realized that my first impression of this person was almost completely inaccurate. As a person who considers herself a good, no great, judge of character, you can imagine my surprise.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Upon first meeting I found this young professional to be friendly, and that didn’t change…if it had, would I be wasting my time writing about it? Let’s hope not.
The best part of getting to know someone is learning things about them that are out of the ordinary. These qualities tend to make people mysterious, and therefore more interesting to us. Often times not knowing what someone is going to do next can put people a little on edge, but that ties back in to interesting – they make you want to know more. Think about it. You go to haunted houses every fall because it’s a thrill, you never know what’s waiting for you around that next corner. And if you did know, odds are you’d spend your $6 admission on the pumpkin ale at the local brewery instead.
Sure, not all people are like haunted houses (though I’m sure we all can picture a few right now…) but it’s the surprises in certain people that keep you coming back for more. We’ve all got that crazy friend, the one who you never know what’s going to come out of their mouth, or what kind of trouble they’ll get into during a night out, but my guess is, you can’t think of a time you didn’t have a complete blast with them.
The people in our lives who continue to surprise us, positively or negatively, keep us on our toes. They make life interesting, unpredictable, mysterious. But in the end, can you image your life without them? I didn’t think so.
Cheers!
-A
Monday, February 11, 2008
A man: influential, impassioned, inspiring
This is not a man who has come into my life recently, rather, it’s one that is going to be removed shortly. Though he has only been a part of my life for less than a year, he has become not only a mentor but an inspiration as well. He has led an extraordinary life, and though I only fit onto one portion of one chapter of his life, I like to think I had an impact on him as well. But this isn’t about me is it? Of course not…
This is a person I met shortly before my most recent move back to the Midwest. At the very first encounter, I knew he was someone I would come to admire. He has a great passion for life – not just his personal life, but his professional life as well. And one of the greatest lessons he taught me is the importance of combining the two – of being passionate about the work that you are doing each and every day. Sure, it’s easy to say, especially when you are starting your career it can be difficult to find a good balance while still proving your worth to a company. Regardless, this is an extremely important goal for which to aspire. In order to be successful, don’t you have to truly enjoy the work you are doing, to have such passion for your work that “you feel most alive when doing it.” Other words of wisdom he shared with me today regarding passion for your profession are so simple, yet so hard to come by: “Everyone here has something special that can’t be taught. When you walk in the door you either have it or you don’t.” Passion and desire in your career is what makes you marketable, and those are the people that come with that little something extra that makes them the best, the experts, in their field.
Take, for example, the Spartans. Let’s go way back ancient Greece, where Sparta ruled not just because of it’s king, but because of the army behind him. These men were proud. Being a Spartan was more than a duty, it was a profession, and a way of life. The passion that each of these men brought with them to each battle proves that accomplishment comes to those with the most fire in their soul, and believe in not only themselves, but those with whom they work the closest. Victory after victory, these men grew to trust in one another and learned how to work efficiently and effectively together to accomplish the ultimate goal – to wipe out the opposing army.
Granted, this isn’t quite what most of us professionals are out to accomplish today; more like beat out the competition in a new business pitch – but you get the analogy. Everyone should have this sort of passion for their work. And for those who don’t, find a way to fit it in; transform the daily grind into your profession. So the next time you suit up and head into the office, realize that you too have that something special in you that gets you up in the morning and makes each day better than the last.
Spartans, what is your profession?
This is a person I met shortly before my most recent move back to the Midwest. At the very first encounter, I knew he was someone I would come to admire. He has a great passion for life – not just his personal life, but his professional life as well. And one of the greatest lessons he taught me is the importance of combining the two – of being passionate about the work that you are doing each and every day. Sure, it’s easy to say, especially when you are starting your career it can be difficult to find a good balance while still proving your worth to a company. Regardless, this is an extremely important goal for which to aspire. In order to be successful, don’t you have to truly enjoy the work you are doing, to have such passion for your work that “you feel most alive when doing it.” Other words of wisdom he shared with me today regarding passion for your profession are so simple, yet so hard to come by: “Everyone here has something special that can’t be taught. When you walk in the door you either have it or you don’t.” Passion and desire in your career is what makes you marketable, and those are the people that come with that little something extra that makes them the best, the experts, in their field.
Take, for example, the Spartans. Let’s go way back ancient Greece, where Sparta ruled not just because of it’s king, but because of the army behind him. These men were proud. Being a Spartan was more than a duty, it was a profession, and a way of life. The passion that each of these men brought with them to each battle proves that accomplishment comes to those with the most fire in their soul, and believe in not only themselves, but those with whom they work the closest. Victory after victory, these men grew to trust in one another and learned how to work efficiently and effectively together to accomplish the ultimate goal – to wipe out the opposing army.
Granted, this isn’t quite what most of us professionals are out to accomplish today; more like beat out the competition in a new business pitch – but you get the analogy. Everyone should have this sort of passion for their work. And for those who don’t, find a way to fit it in; transform the daily grind into your profession. So the next time you suit up and head into the office, realize that you too have that something special in you that gets you up in the morning and makes each day better than the last.
Spartans, what is your profession?
Monday, February 4, 2008
Recent encounter with a fellow blogger
Okay, so let’s be honest here, I’m talking about an encounter with a REAL blogger, not just some schmuck who thinks that people will be entertained, or even gain value from a silly little blog about life’s lessons...
The type of blogger I’m referring to is one that regularly posts for a top 500 site in the blogosphere. Huge, right?
So let’s start with a little background. One of the growing trends in the world of communications is what’s known as OEO, online editorial outreach. Instead of traditional media relations, public relations professionals are now reaching out to bloggers in a highly targeted way. Without thorough knowledge of the blog, and often the blogger that’s posting, it can be difficult to make a connection. Most often, this is not the blogger’s day job, so they aren’t getting paid to read the latest announcement from your company. That’s why it’s critical to present a blogger with an idea they will be interested in, and hopefully, buy into enough to blog about it.
Standard practice is not to follow-up with bloggers as you would with traditional media; if they’re interested, they’ll respond. Which can be stressful (I’d rather have a reporter tell me that no one in their right mind would cover my story than not to know at all) and time consuming (in that you need to continuously check back to see if anything has been posted).
For me, I was lucky. This particular blogger not only covered the topic we provided him, but he responded with thoughts on how to make our program survive in the world of online social media.
I often wonder if bloggers can spot fellow bloggers, by tone, by concept, or though intuition. However it happened this time will probably remain unknown; because as we all know, life is 50 percent chance; but I’m grateful, not only for his coverage, but for his time. He didn’t need to give suggestions, but because he truly believed in our issue, he took the time to provide us with his highly experienced opinion. So if you’re reading this, fellow blogger, thank you for your kindness, generosity, and understanding.
Cheers!
-A
The type of blogger I’m referring to is one that regularly posts for a top 500 site in the blogosphere. Huge, right?
So let’s start with a little background. One of the growing trends in the world of communications is what’s known as OEO, online editorial outreach. Instead of traditional media relations, public relations professionals are now reaching out to bloggers in a highly targeted way. Without thorough knowledge of the blog, and often the blogger that’s posting, it can be difficult to make a connection. Most often, this is not the blogger’s day job, so they aren’t getting paid to read the latest announcement from your company. That’s why it’s critical to present a blogger with an idea they will be interested in, and hopefully, buy into enough to blog about it.
Standard practice is not to follow-up with bloggers as you would with traditional media; if they’re interested, they’ll respond. Which can be stressful (I’d rather have a reporter tell me that no one in their right mind would cover my story than not to know at all) and time consuming (in that you need to continuously check back to see if anything has been posted).
For me, I was lucky. This particular blogger not only covered the topic we provided him, but he responded with thoughts on how to make our program survive in the world of online social media.
I often wonder if bloggers can spot fellow bloggers, by tone, by concept, or though intuition. However it happened this time will probably remain unknown; because as we all know, life is 50 percent chance; but I’m grateful, not only for his coverage, but for his time. He didn’t need to give suggestions, but because he truly believed in our issue, he took the time to provide us with his highly experienced opinion. So if you’re reading this, fellow blogger, thank you for your kindness, generosity, and understanding.
Cheers!
-A
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
