I'm a quitter

I've been thinking a lot lately about my running behavior, or lack there of, and have realized just how unsuccessful I've been in reaching my goals these last, ahem, five years.

During this time I've signed up for or verbally committed to run three half marathons and countless 5 and 10Ks that were never completed.

Training FAIL.

It was almost five years ago now that I endured my first running injury that put me in a back brace for almost six months.

Hyperextension WIN...?

Anywhosits, after much deliberation, I think I've come to a decision with my distance running. 

You ready for this?

I'm officially giving up competitive running. (!!!!!!)

Here's how I see it. Right now I only feel inclined to run so that I don't embarrass myself at the next race. And when my training doesn't go as planned I back out of the race. This then causes me to feel bad about myself and stay at home to eat Cool Ranch Doritos on the couch instead of going for a leisurely run. 

It's all a downward spiral from there.

When I first started running I used to truly enjoy the sport - running for me, for the enjoyment, for the high. Once I started racing, it became a whole different ball game, and my competitive spirit got the best of me. I ran for the race, to win. It was no longer about the intrinsic value.

Recently I've found that when there isn't a looming race to prepare for I enjoy the act of running much more. I can mix things up, do sprints when I'm inclined, walk for a little to enjoy the scenery without feeling guilty about it.

Not to mention that the pressure to hit the treadmill the minute I enter the gym significantly declines.

Let's not forget about the other factor of races - the money. Sure, it's only $25 to enter a race, but that's also the cost of a skydive. And we're all acutely aware of what I'd rather be doing.

Long story short, I need to run for me, not just to compete with the other runners around me.

I'm much happier when I participate in a variety of activities to keep me healthy, and honestly, when I'm training and running 6 days a week I'm not at my peak health. I have X-rays of two fractured feet to prove that.

So for now, I'm going to focus on enjoying my workouts, running or otherwise, and gain some endurance back the fun way. And who knows, maybe one day you'll see me at the starting line again, complete with Asics and racing number.

But until then, I'll see you in spinning class.

What's your workout of choice these days?

Cheers!

-A