Look Food, we all know how much I love you and your nourishing goodness, but I've got a serious beef with you.
Stupid pun not intended.
This is a problem I've been suffering with for years. Almost immediately after consuming your pure deliciousness my extremities get so cold they feel as if they might fall off.
C'mon food, I know this is your fault, it's been happening for too long now for this to be some kind of coincidence.
What's more - when I wash you down with pure, crystal clear water it only escalates the situation.
Now, this becomes a problem when I need to eat outside of my house, because it certainly isn't acceptable for a grown 25 year old woman to carry around a blanket to wrap herself in post-meal. And I'm certainly not wearing a Snuggie around in public.
So tell me Food, what's a girl to do? Please do tell, because I know I'm not the only person out there who suffers this debilitating coldness after eating, and I'm certainly not going to go on living like this.
Until I get an appropriate response, I'm boycotting. I'll live on coffee and tea until we can work something out, Food.
Hungrily yours,
-A
p.s. Anyone who believes I'm actually giving up food, even for a second, is out of your bloody mind.
6 comments:
Hmmm, I sweat when I eat, so maybe we could combine our forces and be perfect.
I read your entire post - twice. That taco is just too damn distracting!
food is a pleasure in life and I could NEVER give up food...especially desserts :)
It is so weird when that happens, it happens mostly in restaurants for me.
writing letters to food is such a good idea, why have I yet to do this??
narm - like the Power Rangers, yeah!
[f]oxymoron - i know, isn't it cute?
becky - never.
josh - it is too!! And you know I don't do well with shots...
susan - always in restaurants!
chelsea - i'd be honored if you used my idea!
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